I just want to say before everyone starts calling me is that I have a doctor's appt tomorrow and I plan on talking to her in DETAIL about how I have been feeling. This will probably answer some questions you have all had on the posting I put up about the definition of Anguish. I don't know for sure if I actually have PPD but it sure would explain some things. Especially the fact that I have shut myself in and have not really wanted to talk to anyone, even my closest friend - Karl. Which I would like to say he should get the Husband of the Year award. I love you so much!
With that being said I have had a rough month. I have been fighting it because I just refused to believe that there might be a problem (ok so maybe Max got some of his stubbornness from me as well). Just in the last week or so I finally got up the courage to talk to Karl about how I have been feeling, it was scary but I am glad that I did it. It's amazing how crazy your body & mind can feel after you have a baby. After crying for two or three days I realized that I should do some research on PPD and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
The signs of postpartum depression include:
~Feeling restless or irritable.
~Feeling sad, depressed or crying a lot.
~Having no energy.
~Having headaches, chest pains, heart palpitations (the heart being fast and feeling like it is skipping beats), numbness, or hyperventilation (fast and shallow breathing).
~Not being able to sleep or being very tired, or both.
~Not being able to eat and weight loss.
~Overeating and weight gain.
~Trouble focusing, remembering, or making decisions.
~Being overly worried about the baby.
~Not having any interest in the baby.
~Feeling worthless and guilty.
~Being afraid of hurting the baby or yourself.
~No interest or pleasure in activities, including sex.
I am not saying that I have had every single one of these symptoms but I have had the majority of them. It's VERY SCARY for me to put this out there for everyone to know, I don't like to admit that I can't handle things on my own and for anyone that knows me really well you know that is a true statement. I read that one of the ways to get over PPD is to talk about it and having a good support group. I know that I have a great group of people out there that love me and I am counting on each and every one of you to help me through this. LOL! Even if 80% of you are 900 miles away. LOL!
I also have another blessing in that Karl's parents live only a few hours away and Mom-Mom (my mother in law) is coming down to take Max for a few nights so I can catch up on some much needed rest. We were heading up to their house Friday anyway because of a wedding that Karl is in but I have to say I am pretty thrilled about getting to sleep in for 2 nights in a row!
If anyone is interested in reading up on PPD here is a link to an interesting article that I found.
http://www.medicinenet.com/postpartum_depression/article.htm
I will be sure to keep you all up to date on what the doctor says after tomorrow's visit. : ) Wish me luck!!!
2 comments:
Lets see.
It is very hard to moved hundreds of miles away from your friends and family.
It's a huge adjustment to quit working and stay home with your new baby.
Combine the two and I'd think you were strange if you weren't have a hard time.
Hang in there and be well my friend. I'll come back anytime you need. Just say the word.
Thank you! You are truly an angel and I am soooo truly blessed to have you as my friend! I love you and miss you!
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