18 October 2007

A Few Things...

Karl, Max, and I sadly had to attend his cousin's funeral today in Pennsylvania and while we were at the service my head was rolling with thoughts. First of course was sadness - for her family and her friends, especially for her husband and their 6-yr old son. My deepest condolences go out to them.

Second was an overwhelming feeling of love for my friends and family and especially for my son Max. As we were doing prayers and sending Kristina up to the Lord I looked down at Max (trying to get him to sleep), and he looked up at me with his amazing blue eyes and smiled - it was such a beautiful thing, it truly brought tears to me eyes. It was a very special moment, almost surreal. Being a mother has brought on a number of changes in me, physically being the most obvious, but the internal changes are what is most drastic.

I realized that this child of mine is the most important thing in my life. I love my family and I love my friends and I LOVE my husband to death but Max is my flesh and bones and I would give anything to keep him safe. I feel deeply for the Kristina's mother, I cannot imagine what it must be like to lose your child. I pray for Kristina, for her family & friends, and especially for her son and hope that they can turn to God in their time of need.

To all of my friends and family; I love you with all of my heart. I know that I am far away and I don't do a great job of telling all of you how much I care but please know that you mean the world to me. I love you!

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