Beautiful Mess

The following is a "long" excerpt from the Book "Chicken Soup for the New Mom's Soul". It's kind of long but trust me for any mom's out there it is worth the read!

Pregnancy is one of the most extreme times in a woman's life: extreme emotions, extreme moods, extreme appetite. I remember being so tired, but also incredibly ambitious. I was nervous about the baby's health, doctor's visits, needles, and weight gain, yet I understood real hope for the first time in my life. And in the midst of pregnancy, when I became heavier than ever before, I somehow felt more beautiful than any previous time in my life. This body, which society says must be thin to be fashionable and is for display purposes only, now had a real purpose.

There are so many joys along the road to becoming a new mother - the least of which is the many people who love to tell you every little negative thing that happened to them during pregnancy, childbirth, and those blessed first months with a new baby. You announce your due date and everyone says, "Congratulations," right before they jump into their own story of their fifty-hour un-medicated labor, followed by thirteen weeks of straight colic, teenage angst, and how they cannot get their grown children to leave home.

I LOVE the special people in my life who tell me, "you're as big as a house" or "enjoy sleep while you can." They show the emotional sympathy of a hungry pit bull.

But I want you to know that no matter the pains or discomforts or fears, there will be no time in your life as sweet. Nothing will bring such a beautiful smile or fonder memories than when you think back to preparing for your baby. If the road to becoming a mom were not as difficult as it is joy-filled, then we would take it for granted. It is the aches and pains and little quirky weird things that happen along the way that make our stories unique, that tie us to our children with such fierceness. We know what it cost to get them here. The rough edges of pregnancy are smoothed out by intense love and joy. For example: there is nothing like the first kicks of your baby in the womb. Of course, if you've made it to the seventh month or beyond you will occasionally wish junior wasn't so aggressive. My first child wedged his feet into my ribs so hard I was sure he was trying to break out early. Because of this, I often said that I would be so much happier with a baby in my arms rather than karate-chipping my insides. The things that were hard to endure in the long minutes of every day become the things yo miss as time moves on. Two months after my son was born, I became a liar. I missed his little kicks terribly. I missed his flip-flopping in the night. I had to have another one so I could feel it again.

No matter how many absolutely adorable pictures you get a Sears or Penney's, they will never bring the feeling those first ultrasound pictures bring. There is such an intense rush in knowing that there really is a baby growing inside you, and it's your son or daughter! You can actually see them suck their thumbs or tickle their own toes. For me it was proof; it seemed to take the abstract and bring it all home. This confirms your motherhood: you must now wear jeans that rise above the belly button (just kidding).

Here's the best part: all the leg shaving, makeup wearing, bikini waxing, eyebrow plucking, high-heel walking, and hair fixing you've ever done or had to learn how to do; all the rude stares, catcalls, impolite gestures, and unequal treatment; anything and everything that makes being a woman hard, inconvenient and tiresome - even pregnancy and labor - comes crashing down when you, at your weakest, become the strongest you've ever been and push your child into this world, and you finally embrace the beautiful, messy joy that is your newborn.

As I stared at my son's quivering lips while he cried the first minutes after he was born, I was so proud. I was proud to be a woman, and no amount of pain or fear or stereotype placed upon me by society would ever change that again. I alone was equipped to care for and give birth to this boy. My body nurtured him for nine months and wold keep fat on his thighs for a year more through breast-feeding.

It is an empowering feeling. We are told that there are so many things we can do, and then we realize we are capable of the seemingly impossible. We triumph in the face of unspeakable difficulties!

And what they say is true! We forget the hardest parts of pregnancy, at least enough to go through it again. But God made pregnancy hard for a reason - nobody but a tired, pregnancy woman could actually look forward to labor.

- Heather Best

I sat in my bed last night, exhausted from a day of little sleep, little food, and many diaper changes and read this. I realized that I would not want to be anywhere else!