A New Beginning....

This past year has been one of many changes - some that I have welcomed and some that have been a little harder to deal with. Max of course being one that I have waited for and welcomed...the move to New Jersey was a little more difficult.

I can remember when everything started happening at Bordine's and how Karl and I were really unsure as to what we were going to do - should he try and find a different type of job or should we bite the bullet and see about finding a job in the horticulture industry?? Well it's obvious which one we chose. At the time it was exciting to think about moving - for anyone that knows me knows that I have moved a million times in my life, as a child and adult, and I have never been one that ran away from change. This was one change that took me by surprise.

First off I was 4 months pregnant and was not really looking forward to trying to find a Dr. to replace the awesome one I had in Michigan (was sooo lucky to find the Dr. I did - she was phenomenal). Secondly I was going from working a full time job to being a stay at home wife and soon to be mother (can't imagine leaving Max and going back to work!). Thirdly Karl and I had to leave our beloved home in Grand Blanc for which we had just put our blood, sweat, and tears into. Fourthly we did not know a single soul in New Jersey. All of those things combined made it very difficult for me to willingly accept New Jersey.

As the next 5 months went by I became more and more homesick...luckily I was able to come home for a small shower my mom and sister planned for me and just recently came home again for my step-father's 50th birthday. A trip that I had been looking forward to for weeks....counting down literally to the day we left. Karl was only able to come home for the weekend but I was so excited to get to stay for a few extra days....but as the days quickly passed I realized that it was getting harder and harder to think about going back to New Jersey...how could I leave all of my beloved friends and family to go to a place where I had no friends and no family??????????

It soon became apparent to me how I could---- my husband! As many of you know Karl is not an emotional, "public displays of affection" type of guy. During one phone conversation with him he told me 3 times how much he missed Max and I. I made a decision at that moment that I had to accept New Jersey as my new home and it was up to me to make it great. That is was a hard pill to swallow because even though to many of you I am an outgoing, loud, energetic girl, on the inside I really am shy and I do get very nervous when I have to meet new people. Plus this was a situation where I did not have a job to fall back on, (most of my friends I have met while working with them - except for Melanie, we went to high school together). It's a scary thing to be an adult and to have to make new friends. Today was a turning point.

Right before came home to Michigan I did an online search for Mom Clubs and found a cute one called "The Little Yellow Duck Club". They do all kinds of different events from story time at a local library to going to orchards and picking apples! I e-mailed the organizer and finally willed myself to RSVP to a story time. This morning I must have talked myself out of going about 100 times - I was tired, Max was being fussy, I didn't want to leave the dog outside...blah, blah, blah. I am so glad that I told myself to shut the hell up and just go! I met 4 or 5 great mom's and plan on going to some other events that they have coming up in September! I am hoping that my insecurities don't get the best of me and I just continue doing things to get out of the house. If not for my sake for my wonderful husband's! He is the most amazing man and I truly cannot say enough of how thankful I have him in my life and even more thankful that Max has such a great dad!

Well I hear Max stirring from his nap so now that I have wrote a novel I am off to hopefully be just as great a mom!