Taking a chance....

Potty training is not fun. We have been working with Max for over a year and it seems with futile results. I mean we have really done everything. We have given him stickers, treats, little toys, etc. and nothing has worked. We even took him to the store and let him pick out this big dragon and told him that when he went on the potty he would get it. It sat there for months. Finally one day he told me, I don't want it - give it to Nick (my friend's son). I have talked to the pediatrician, his teacher, and of course other moms....everyone said he would do it when he was ready. I keep thinking it's going to be any time now....I am still waiting. So I thought I would try a new tactic, which one of my friends told me she did with her daughter.

A few weeks ago I started telling Max that when his box of diapers was gone we would not have any more and he would have to start using the potty, because I would not be able to get anymore. He looked at me and said no more diapers, and I told him again when the diapers were gone he would have to use the potty. He said OK. This past week we were slowly getting to the end of the box, with about 5 or 6 left. Every morning and after school I would show him how many were left. The other day he said to me, "then I have to use the potty Mommy...." I almost fell over...then I started praying. Praying that it might actually work.

He has no school on Monday so Karl and I figured that it was now or never. Karl hid the last 2 diapers this morning and told Max they were all gone. He has been wearing "big boy" underwear all day. He had 1 accident this morning, but has been dry all day. We even went to the mall. We asked him if needed to use the bathroom and he actually said yes and then when we took him he ACTUALLY WENT!

I hope that I am not jinxing myself by sharing....we shall see. We even decided that we are not going to put any diapers on him either at night. We are going to load up his bed with some towels and make sure we stress to him that if he wakes up and has to go he needs to get up and go. Again we shall see. Wish us the much needed luck we need.

Goodbye 2010....Hello 2011!

Still can't believe that 2010 is done. This past year absolutely flew by....in just a few short months Max will be 4....not long after that Emma will be 2. Crazy fast.

What a year!

We have had a year of firsts, with an infant & a toddler every day is filled with firsts :)
One of the biggest things that happened this year was that Max started pre-school....it has been an amazing 3 months. I see changes in him every day and am amazed at how smart he is.

Emma is growing like a weed and is also incredibly smart. She is just walking and playing and learning so very fast. I am in so much trouble when that girl starts really talking and not just the baby talk. :)

Karl and I will be celebrating 6 years of matrimony - 6 years that also went by crazy fast. Looking forward to another year with my wonderful husband and my amazing children! May your year also be blessed and filled with love and lots of joy!

Watching over us...

We have a new pair of eyes watching over the kids. :)

"Based on the tradition Carol Aebersold began with her family in the 1970s, this cleverly rhymed children's book explains that Santa knows who is naughty and/or nice because he sends a scout elf to every home. The elf watches the children's behavior and magically returns to the North Pole to report to Santa each night. By morning, the elf returns to its assigned home and hides in a different location, allowing the children to play a delightful hide-and-seek game."


Max was absolutely riveted when we read him the story and explained what "Elfie" would be doing. We let Max pick the name - and I have to say he is not very original when it comes to naming things. We bought him a pillow pet, the dog, and when we asked what he wanted him to name him and he came up with "puppy". This past summer we went to a birthday party at build a bear, he named his bear "beary". Too funny.

We reminded him a few times while him and Emma were playing about "Elfie" watching and boy was he on his best behavior. Can't wait to see how the next few weeks play out!!!!

Better....

Just a bit. Finally talked to my doctor and she strongly feels that my "blah-ness" is stemming from my shots of depo-prevera. My shot shot was due in about a week so we are making the choice to take me off it and see what happens.

I have to say I was still feeling pretty yucky but in the last few days I have been feeling better - not 100% better but still better.

With the holidays quickly approaching I really don't want to go into them feeling like a wet rag so hoping this works. :)

Feelin' kind of blah....

I have been here before. This same feeling of blah. I think the last time was last Christmas....interesting that it's almost that time again.

Cranky. Moody. Irritable. Bitchy - a.k.a Miranda. I was so bad about a week ago I was even annoying myself. At one point I started doing some research on the computer to see what the signs for pre-menopause were. Seriously that is how bad I was feeling.

I have felt this way once before. About 2 or 3 months after I had Max. It was bad. I fought it till he was about 8 or 9 months and finally I just lost it. Realized that I was not loosing my mind but that I was actually experiencing post partum depression. But Emma is now 14 months old - could that possibly be what I am feeling? It just seems to strange that after almost a year and half it now shows up??

I have been fighting myself and have been telling myself that it's nothing. Winter has never been my fave season. I can't stand all the gray and yuck of it so I have been fooling myself into thinking that's what it was. But the last few weeks have been sunny and (almost) 60' every day. This morning I finally broke down and left a message for my doctor.

I am not sure why but I was so nervous about admitting that there might be something wrong. I was so happy she was not able to come to the phone. Really fighting the urge to not just turn my phone off and hope that this all goes away. But I know it won't - I can't physically look at my children and think that I can make it go away. I love them too much. They need me to be happy, and they need me to be calm. Not Cranky, Moody, Irritable, Bitchy. That is not what they deserve nor does my poor husband who I must say deals with me quite well. Really well. How he doesn't freak out on me like I do him I will never know. But I thank God he is so patient.

Trying to take deep breaths and just relax...but I can already feel a little bit anxious about having the "talk" with the doctor. Ugh. Would love to be able to turn my brain off and just run on auto-pilot some days.

Just call me frustrated....

We are in the process of potty training Max. It is a frustrating process. It seems to be a never ending process. It's a process I am tired of having.

We actually started potty training last year right before I had Emma in the hopes that we might get him trained before Emma actually arrived. Hah. He was so not ready for it. So we waited. Then about 6 months ago we really dug our heels in and started. We bought him big boy underwear, even let him pick them out. He did really great for two days, not on single accident then he just didn't care anymore. He would sit in wet/dirty undies and not even tell us.

We reverted to pull-ups thinking maybe that was too big of a step. He did OK but would still not ever tell us he had to go. The last month or so I have been setting a timer and telling him when it goes off it's time to use the bathroom.....when the timer goes off he will go pee if I take him in there but won't voluntarily tell us he has to go. He has gone poop twice and has not done it again since then.

He will crawl away into a corner and I can tell he is getting ready to go, I get him all hyped up by laughing and playing and I  get him to go in the bathroom and he will sit on the toilet for about 20 seconds and then say " no poo-poo"....I try and bribe him to sit and that lasts for about 10 more seconds and he starts to scream so I let him down. Not 30 seconds later he will walk by me and I know he went....ugh. I am so frustrated. I feel like I have tried everything.

We have done stickers, fruit snacks (which he loves..), this past weekend we even went out and bought this big dragon and set it on top of the entertainment center and told him when he goes poop in the potty he can have it. The first day he cried because he could not have it, it's been three days and he could care less. What am I doing wrong. I am a complete loss....should I just continue to let him wear diapers and stop trying.

I am in desperate need of some Mom advice. HELP!

On a mission...

I am a pro. A pro at procrastinating. I always have these grand ideas of how I am going to stay organized and be able to find the things I want, finish the projects I am working as well as keeping my house clean. It never really seems to happen. Usually what happens is I start a project then halfway through it I start doing something else and before I know it I have three things I am working on and none of them get finished.  My house has become a bigger mess than what it was.

The room that usually gets hits the hardest is always our bedroom. It's the easiest place to stash things if we have are having people over...I can just close the door. It's usually the last room that I manage to get too when I am cleaning. I almost always can whip together the kitchen & living room, the kids rooms  - well they are kids room, I try not to stress to much about that. What is supposed to be our place of sanctuary somehow ends up being the laundry room, the place for spare mail/junk mail and who knows what else.

This morning I spent almost 2 hours trying to get our room organized and I am sad to say I am not quite done but I did make a serious dent. I DID  manage to throw a bunch of junk away and also got a bag together to donate to the Goodwill. On a side note I decided to count all my shoes - 71 to be exact. I think I may have a problem. Half of them are adorable heels that are not really suitable to chasing a 3-yr old and 1-yr old around....But at least the closest is now organized and I can see my clothes AND all 71 pairs of my shoes.

I am going to try and keep this streak going and get to the kids rooms later this week. Kind of scary as I am not sure what I will find nestled in Max's toy box OR Emma's closet but I am on a mission!

The Great Pumpkin....

It's Fall. It's official. Yesterday we went to our first Fall Festival of the year. Cute little place about a 1/2 hour from us.

Max and Karl went for a hayride and picked a couple of pumpkins while Emma and I took a stroll through a cute little gift shop. Then while Karl strolled around with Emma Max and I went through a fun corn maze....well it was fun until 1/2 way through Max no longer wanted to walk so I had to carry him on my shoulders. :)

I love fall. I am so in the mood it's ridiculous. Yesterday I was on a baking mission. I made Apple Cake AND Cinnamon-Sugar Apple Chips. Man did the house smell AMAZING! I love the smell of apples, pumpkins and cinnamon baking. It just smells warm and cozy. Looking forward to more fall activities AND fall food!

Obsession....

I don't often watch TV but now that Max is in school I have been catching a few shows here and there when Emma goes down for her nap. I forgot how much fun stuff is on during the day.

But mostly I have been watching The Cooking Channel and The Food Network. It's quickly becoming an obsession. This past year I have really started to get more into cooking and have found that I am LOVING it! Of course I have lots to learn but am really having alot of fun getting there.

One of the coolest gifts I have gotten in a long time was from Karl. He bought me an old fashioned tortilla maker. I have not got up the gumption to use it yet but plan on busting it out this weekend. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. I plan on getting LOTS of pictures whether it turns out or not. About a month ago I created a food blog, At the Cookery. It's pretty basic but I have started posting recipes that I make throughout the week. Stay tuned for the Tortilla Making session!

At a loss....

Max used to be my champion sleeper. Of course it took us the first 9 months of his life to get him there but this kid could sleep.

He used to take 2 two hour naps AND would go to bed around 6 pm, sometimes we had to fight to keep him awake at 5:30 pm. He would usually sleep till about 6:30 am the next morning.

At around 15 months or some he went from 2 naps to just one. But they were great naps. He usually went down around 1:30 pm and would sleep till 3ish, sometimes even 4 pm. Around the time that Emma was born he started fighting naps all together and I can't remember the last time he took a nap in the middle of the day that wasn't in the car. The plus side of all that was that he was still going to sleep fairly early and getting up around the same time.

Ever since school has started he has been getting up early, 5:30ish am and in the last two weeks it has been impossible to get him to go to bed. Tonight for example I put him down about 7 pm and JUST got him to go to bed after almost 2 hours of fighting. He stands in his room and kicks the door, throws toys, screams and I mean SCREAMS - like Jason is coming to get me scream. If it weren't for Emma I would let him scream and cry and just fall asleep where he is but I have Emma and I don't want him to wake her because who knows if and when she will go back to sleep.
I don't know what to do, short of laying in there with him every night (which I really, really, really don't want to do) I am at a loss.

A Huge Milestone....

And we made it. More Specifically I made it. :)
Max started school. We have had a few bumps in the road....like him detouring through the school and getting found in the parking lot (that was scary), getting three weeks into it THEN suddenly developing separation anxiety (that was sad) but today he seemed OK getting on the bus and even cracked a smile at the bus driver. Of course it didn't hurt that he had a huge chunk of toast sticking out of his mouth and she thought that was hilarious.

Here are a few pics of his big day.....

Some are from his first day starting school and then some are from his very first bus ride. :)

I am ready, wait no I am not, yes I am ready, wait....

No I am not. I am having my very own internal debate.

Max is starting pre-school on September 7th and it is all I can think about these days. If anyone were inside my head they would be amazed at how many thoughts are bouncing around in there.

I know he is ready....I think he is ready...I hope he is ready.  ugh.

I am so excited and nervous all at the same time. He will be going full time, 8 am to 2 pm. They don't offer a part time (which was kind of what I was hoping for), AND he will be riding the bus to and from school. This makes me  have heart palpitations. We did talk to one of the teachers when we did his registration papers and they said that there will only be 3 and 4 year olds on the bus. They have an aide that gets the kids to their seat, straps them in (all the buses have seat belts), and then the bus does not pull away until they sit back down. I am still nervous.

I am nervous about a million things; he will be scared on the bus, he will be scared at school, I am  nervous about a 100 other things. I really hope that all those mom's out there that have kids in school already will tell me these are all normal thoughts.

But at the same time I am excited....I am excited to have only one child to deal with during the day, a child that is still taking 2 naps a day. Which translates to me having a bit of free time during the day. At the same time all this excitement often turns to guilt. Guilt that I am sending my kid off for someone else to take care of. I know that I am being silly but sometimes it is virtually impossible for me to turn my head off. ugh.

I don't know that I can take 2 more weeks this.

Truly Blessed....

When I first moved to New Jersey no one could have convinced me that I would like it here. I was 5 months pregnant, just left a brand new home that I LOVED and left a group of friends behind that were truly amazing.

I was lucky enough to find a playgroup that was full of some great moms. But unfortunately that group fell apart but I did meet a few WONDERFUL mom's that I really connected with. Then I was able to find another playgroup and really loved being a part of it. For the last year I have truly enjoyed being a part of this group and again met some awesome mom's. Unfortunately some things happened in the last few weeks that I didn't feel comfortable with and I made the touch decision to leave the group.

Thankfully through the strong connections I have made with these moms I was able to find another playgroup. I truly hope this one is as great as the last few have been, as I love that my children are able to interact with other children their own ages. Plus as I mentioned I have made some great friends.

Today I got to hang out with one of those amazing mom's. My friend Trish helped me with my very first lesson in home canning. It was great....we made peach salsa (ABSOLUTELY DELISH, btw) and it was just great hanging out with her, laughing about our kids, maybe doing some complaining about our hubbies, and just having fun. It was so great just spending time with such a fun, amazing, wonderful women....no cattiness, just plain fun.

I was driving home and realized how truly blessed I am. Both Max and Emma were passed out in the back seat and the world just felt right. As I get older I really feel that I am becoming wiser. I am of course not perfect by any means, (just ask my hubbie...lol!) but I am starting to become comfortable with me. I love my husband so very much, my children are amazing and I don't know what or who I would be without them and I feel truly blessed to have had such amazing people come into my life.

This post basically boils down to a humongous THANK YOU to all those people....my friend Trish always says to "love wastefully" and I just love that statement and all that goes with it. As my 37th birthday draws near this is quickly becoming my new mantra and I plan to really love as wastefully as I can!!!

Emma's Baptism....

My sweet baby girl has finally had her baptism. We had originally planned on doing this when she was much younger but time of course got away from me and before I knew it spring was here and summer around the corner! But it's done.  Uncle Kurt is Emma's Godfather and my wonderful friend Melanie is her Godmother....so proud to have them be part of Emma's upbringing!

Emma was a doll at the church and looked BEAUTIFUL in the dress that her Mom-Mom made for her. It was just gorgeous! Max was also amazing at the church. Big thanks to Uncle Danny who was able to keep him entertained for the entire church service.

After the service we headed back to the house and had a wonderful afternoon with friends and family! Here are just a few pics of the big occasion. Here are just a few pics...will try and get more up soon!

A day at the beach....

It's been a crazy day. Of course when isn't it crazy here in the Rudolph house. :)

We packed up and headed down to Cape May with one of my good friends Amy and her family. Amy just started her own photography business, Sweet Pea Pictures, and I have been dying to get pics done at the beach so it was a match made in heaven!

We did pictures early this morning, then headed to another beach and swam for a bit, then we all headed out to lunch. What a site we were. Four adults, four kids - all of us hot and sweaty. But it was a fun lunch with great company! Can't wait to see all the great pics.....stay tuned and check out her website and support a local mom who is GREAT at her job!

My Sweet Baby Boy.....

I guess I can't say that he is such a baby anymore. Last Tuesday (July 13th) Max turned 3 years old. I think that I am still in shock. I am not sure really how 3 whole years have gone by since I gave birth to the little guy.

I am amazed every day how this little person can irritate me to my wits end and in the very next second fill me with so much joy I am almost in tears. Being a mother is such a roller coaster of emotions. It's a ride I am blessed to be on, even though it still scares me to death sometimes. :)

I originally was going to plan a big shin-dig for his Birthday but we have so much going on this summer....Max's Birthday, then Emma's Baptism in August, and then Emma's Birthday in September.....so Karl and I decided to keep the kids ACTUAL Birthday to be celebrated with just us and we would have a combined Birthday party for both Max and Emma. Since we were combining their party I wanted to do something special for him. The night before my Mom and I went into town and bought a couple of helium filled balloons. My plan was to fill his room with them once he went to sleep. I was so excited to see his response I almost couldn't sleep....

The next morning I heard Max around 5:30 am yelling "mommy, Nana, daddy....balloons, balloons!!!!". I got up and told him that everyone was still sleeping and he had to stay in his room. Of course the first thing he wanted to know was if the balloons could stay - so cute. The look on his face was purely priceless. 

Once everyone was up and about Max spent the rest of the morning running around with all of his balloons. He went from his room to the kitchen and the living room. It was hilarious. 

Since it was rainy outside we decided that we would head up to Adventure Aquarium. While there Nana treated Max to a face paining, which he LOVED. He could not stop staring in the mirror....absolutely hysterical. 

We finished off the night with one of Max's fave meals Spaghetti & Meatballs. And of course we also had to throw in some dessert  - good ole' fashioned Sprinkle topped Cupcakes. 

Such a wonderful day to remind me of the amazing gift I received 3 years ago!  

Rest in peace Trigger....

As many of you know my cat Trigger has been very sick this past week or so. Sometime last night after 1'ish he passed away. We heard him around 1 am stumbling to get our from our bed and when he made it to the hallway he collapsed and could not get back up. Karl took him out to the kitchen near the water bowl (that is all he has been taking in for the last week and half...) and when I got up at 5 am this morning my Mom let me know he had passed.

Trigger was originally my sisters cat but when she moved in with her now hubbie his dogs didn't like cats very much so I took him in. He has been with me since then. Trigger has been with me through thick and thin. Moving across country to Arizona (and back again....), through break-ups, hook-ups, and new jobs. In the last few years he has been quite annoying. He used to wake us up at all hours of the night howling like a fool. :)

But all in all he has been a great cat. He was always fantastic with the kids. He adjusted very well the Magoo. The only bad thing was that he wanted food ALLL the time.

When I realized he wassnt' eating a few weeks ago I knew something was up. Not eating was very unlike Trigger. We waited for a few days and finally made an appointment with the vet. They did some basic blood work but nothing out of the ordinary came up. They send us home with some vitamins and antibiotics. He did pretty well for the first couple of days and took his medicine. He even ate a few times so we thought maybe he would come around.

Then yesterday he wouldn't even touch it. I had crushed it up and put it in with a dab of milk so he would eat it. He totally snubbed his nose at it. I knew yesterday that he was going to have to be taken back to the vet and put to sleep. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it so I told Karl when he got home and he agreed. Then this morning...

I hope that he is in a better place and is finally at peace.

Update on Trigger....

Finally made an appointment for Trigger. Karl took him to the vet yesterday afternoon. I was a wreck the whole time. When he got home I was afraid to go out in the kitchen to see if Trigger was still with him.

He was. :)

The vet did some basic blood tests to rule out anything major, i.e. kidney failure or diabetes. Nothing showed up. They are at a loss as to what is wrong. They sent Karl home with some vitamins and an antibiotic (which I think is crazy considering you don't eve know what is wrong with him) and they want to see him back in 2 weeks. You should see Karl trying to stick a pill down his throat. He tried this morning, unsuccessfully and decided that he would try later tonight.

So $300 dollars later we still don't know what is wrong with him. He is still drinking water, which is good. This morning I even saw him eat a couple of kibbles but that was the first time I have seen him eat in a week......ugh.  It's funny because I was preparing myself for the worst yesterday and then when it didn't happen I didnt' know what to feel. My animals drive me crazy but I love them at the same time.....Kind of like my kids!!!! LOL!

On a side note Magoo has been put on a diet. The last time she went in for her physical she weighed 67 lbs, now she is a whopping 74 lbs. The vet didnt' seem overly concerned but Magoo is a smaller lab so we have to cut back on her food. Now if I can just keep Max from feeding her. LOL!

Put down the toy, and just walk away....

Madness. That is what I call the TOY area in our home. We don't have a very large home but we have managed to condense most of the kids toys to one corner of our living room. Max also has a toy box in his room for the overflow ~ which often gets spread through the entire house.

Overflow is not really the best way to describe the MADNESS of how many toys we have. Let me give you a brief rundown.....we have a corner of our living room with a toy box as well as a large bookcase with two shelves STUFFED with books. Then Max of course has his toy box in his room, of course FULL of toys AND the whole top shelf loaded with books.  I don't mind all the books but the toys drive me insane!

Then downstairs in the basement we have 5, yes I said 5, totes FULL of toys. Every few months I try and switch out the toys so everything feels new again. All of this sound fine ~ except for the fact that mysteriously these toys start to multiply.  I can't say mysteriously, I know where they come from. We have grandparents and aunts and uncles that are continuously giving to the kids. It's is out of control!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you see what I am talking about! The top photo is just a few of the totes that Karl hauled up from the basement. Then Max decided to help me, I guess you could call it that. The bottom one is just pure insanity.

I decided that I am having a yard sale this weekend, not only to get rid of some these toys, but to finally clean out our basement of stuff we just don't use. We still have some totes and boxes from our move out here. If I haven't unpacked them in 3 years I don't need it.

I am calling out to all you grandparents ( and aunts & uncles) to PLEASE stop buying all these toys! When you feel the urge to pick up that toy turn around, walk out of the store and open a bank account. Put the money in a college fund - by the time Max and Emma are ready for college I will have to pick up a 2nd mortgage so any bit will help. Thanks!

Mr. Trigger....a.k.a Fatty Watty.....

This is Trigger. My cat. My fat cat. My VERY fat cat. He used to be my sister's cat but when she got married her hubbies dogs didn't like cats. Actually he liked them very much but he liked to eat them. Not a good place for fatty watty. So I took him in. I have had him a little over 10 years....he is now 14. And I think his age AND weight is catching up to him.

He started getting sick a few months back but it's been very sporadic....but this last week something has been wrong with him. He is not eating. This is VERY unusual for him. Usually is meowing at all hours of the night because he wants MORE food. The last few days I have only seen him eat maybe once, and his feeder has remained full. I am worried.

I know he is old but I am scared to death to take him to the vet. I am having an internal debate. I don't want to pay hundred of dollars to find out what is wrong with him but at the same time I don't want to do nothing.....what do I do?